Emotional intelligence (EQ) is an important factor in mental health. It refers to how well we understand, control, and express our own emotions, and how we respond to the emotions of others. Managing emotions, especially strong ones, takes practice, but EQ can be developed with the right strategies, many of which focus on mindfulness.
However, not all strategies for managing emotions are effective. For example, emotional suppression involves hiding how we truly feel. Some professionals, like doctors and police officers, are taught that suppressing emotions is helpful, but research shows it can actually harm both physical and mental health. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away; instead, it keeps them inside, causing stress and discomfort.
So, how should we regulate our emotions without suppressing them?
There are two common ways people deal with difficult emotions: acting them out or suppressing them. Acting out, like expressing anger strongly, can damage relationships and create more problems. Suppressing emotions can be even worse for your health.
The good news is there’s another way to handle emotions: by feeling them in the moment. Emotions are like waves—they rise and fall naturally. If we try to stop them, either by acting out or suppressing, we can make things worse. Trying to ignore emotions often leads to overthinking, which keeps the emotions around longer. Suppressed emotions can also cause physical problems, like anxiety, stress, and depression.
Mindfulness can help us experience emotions in the moment without letting them control us. Research shows that mindfulness-based practices (MBIs) can help people manage their emotions. I’ve taught mindfulness programs to doctors, police officers, and military professionals, who are often taught to suppress their emotions because their jobs involve dealing with tough situations. However, these people often face high rates of suicide and substance abuse, which may be connected to the emotional suppression taught in their fields.
When we encouraged these professionals to just feel their emotions in real time, they were skeptical. But after trying it, many reported feeling better—sleeping more soundly, having better relationships with colleagues, and even improving their job performance.
One of the programs I teach is Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance (MBEB), which combines mindfulness techniques with a focus on emotions. It helps people increase their tolerance for difficult emotions like anger and fear, making it easier to let them flow without interference.
Learning to regulate emotions rather than suppress them can improve both mental health and well-being. Mindfulness-based practices offer powerful tools for emotional balance.