The COVID-19 pandemic was a stressful time for many families, marked by uncertainty about the future. However, a recent study highlights a positive outcome of the lockdowns: more family dinners. Published in Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, the study found that families who shared meals together during the pandemic experienced stronger bonds, more positive interactions, and increased communication. In fact, families not only spent more time together but also engaged more with extended family through video calls.
The idea that shared mealtimes foster family unity isn’t new, but the question remains: Why are family dinners so crucial, and how can families make the most of these meals? We asked three mental health experts to weigh in.
Why Family Dinners Are Beneficial
At the core, family dinners provide an opportunity for connection. Dr. Amir A. Afkhami, a psychiatrist and professor at George Washington University, explains, “Family dinners allow family members to share their experiences, reinforcing relationships and family bonds.” These meals also serve as a time to enhance communication skills, encouraging active listening, empathy, and conflict resolution.
Anne Fishel, a psychotherapist and lead author of the family dinner study, underscores the importance of mealtime for parent-child connection. “That parent-child connection is really a seatbelt on the rocky road of childhood and adolescence,” Fishel says. With decades of research showing the benefits of family mealtimes, Fishel adds that having regular meals with parents supports both mental and physical health for kids.
Family dinners also provide an opportunity to disconnect from technology and focus solely on one another, according to psychologist Thea Gallagher. “This is the time to ask about what happened today and what was sad or tough,” Gallagher explains. “It gives us the chance to connect and process the day.” Additionally, Afkhami points out that family meals can pass down traditions, instilling a sense of identity and heritage through shared dishes.
How to Make the Most of Family Meals
Creating a positive atmosphere during family dinners is essential. Afkhami suggests that parents foster an open dialogue around the table, providing a nonjudgmental space for everyone to speak. “Modeling supportive interactions and teaching kids how to navigate conflicts” is key, he says.
Fishel emphasizes the importance of giving everyone a chance to talk. “No one should be interrupted or spoken over,” she stresses. “Everyone should feel heard, whether it’s a child sharing about dinosaurs or an adult discussing their day.”
For families looking to spark conversation, Fishel recommends a fun game called “rose, thorn, and bud.” Each family member shares a “rose” (a positive moment), a “thorn” (a difficult experience), and a “bud” (something they look forward to). This can help kick off a meaningful conversation.
Gallagher also suggests a visual cue to help everyone stay focused at the table, such as lighting a candle at the start of the meal and blowing it out when the meal ends. “It helps us be intentional about the time,” she says.
Afkhami reminds parents to be active listeners and avoid dominating the conversation. The goal is to create an environment where every family member feels heard and valued.
Do You Need to Have Family Dinners Regularly?
While it may seem important to aim for a certain number of family dinners each week, Fishel says that it’s the atmosphere, not the frequency, that matters most. Families with busy schedules, especially those with children involved in extracurricular activities, may find it hard to sit down for dinner together every night. Fishel suggests that other meals—such as breakfast, brunch, or even a picnic before a game—can offer the same benefits as a family dinner.
The key, according to Fishel, is intentionality. “Any meal, even a snack, can offer an opportunity to connect if it’s done with intention,” she says.
Afkhami agrees, emphasizing that families should prioritize connection, even if they can only manage one meal a week together. “The key is setting aside time for regular, nonnegotiable family meals or meetings to maintain those important connections,” he concludes.
Ultimately, whether it’s dinner, breakfast, or a weekend brunch, making time to connect as a family can have lasting positive effects on everyone’s well-being.